


It Means Nothing To You

by Alchemymini



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 02:12:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3191429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alchemymini/pseuds/Alchemymini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua returns to Whale Island to see his best friend after a long time apart. His arrival, however, causes a string of events that cannot be undone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Means Nothing To You

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WRITING CONTAINS BLOOD AND MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS. Please don’t read if you do not like that kind of thing (in case you did not already read the warnings ;w;)
> 
> A friend of mine and I had this fun conversation about how cool it would be to take lines from the show and use them as the basis for drabbles/fanfictions. Here is my first one.

Killua remembered the first time he had set foot on a beach. It had been years ago, sand scrunched beneath his toes on the edge of Whale Island. The bright sunlight had kissed his pale cheeks and the wind had wrapped around him in a transparent hug you would expect from a mother. Those subtle reminders of peace had given him the courage to plunge into the water of the sea, his best friend at his side, the salt water enveloping him in a sweet warmth that washed away his anxiety and pain in the tide.

That was the first time and the last that he would ever feel at home on this beach.

Killua slowly rose to his feet, a crimson river running down his elbows. Bits of the running stream had managed to splash on his face when he had removed the man’s throat. Killua looked down at him now, his eyes blank and lifeless. Illumi Zoldyck was now dead by his hand.

A faint crunching sound in the sand, the white haired Zoldyck boy turned his vacant eyes and attention from his kill to his sister. He walked to her a few feet away, falling to his knees at her side. A blood stained hand ran down the side of her already cold as ice cheek.

He had failed.

It had been years since the separation of Gon and Killua and his beloved sister at the foot of the World Tree. The trickling hour glass had passed in peace and silence for the blue eyed ex-assassin and his raven haired sister. They had traveled from land to land, ocean to ocean, and cottage to cottage. Two kids on the run from anything that might hurt them or tear them apart.

And now they were torn apart forever, their fates in two separate worlds.

It had been Killua’s decision to visit Whale Island. Gon had sent a few requests throughout the years that the two should reunite, but Killua was always hesitant. The requests would always bring a slight crooked smile to his face, but the fear in his heart would accelerate. His emotions were a raging tempest whenever Gon was concerned and he was not ready to brave that storm.

But Alluka had taken his hand in her own, a smaller and weaker hand pressing palms with that of her protector. She had urged him that it would be best for the two boys to meet again.

“You deserve to have some happiness in your life. There is only so much I can give, and you have given me more than enough” she had whispered, only two days ago in the little cottage they had managed to find safe haven in. If he had refused, he may have been able to hear Alluka whisper more encouraging words in his ear.

Running his fingers down her face now, he knew she would never speak to him again.

The attack had been swift. She suffered no immense pain. Killua had only felt her crumple as his side as soon as their feet touched the sandy land. The cause of her collapse, two needles straight to the heart.

Killua did not remember much of what happened next. No assassin training in the world could prepare him for the absolute agony that ripped through his heart…and nothing could prepare him for the blood lust coursing like a broken dam in his veins.

The end for Illumi had not been as swift and painless as the “gift” Illumi had presented to their little sister. Oh no. The moment his location was revealed Killua crushed every bone in his sadistic brother’s body. Each little piece of marrow like a twig under Killua’s foot, hand, whatever he could reach.

Dragging him back to the beach by his hair Killua had thrust Illumi’s body near the water’s edge. The sea must have been just as blood thirsty as Killua was, reaching out to smother Illumi’s face, his body unable to move from under the water’s crushing blows. Killua had stood silently, not a word tumbling from his lips. The only sounds that filled the air were Illumi’s choking and the wind’s screeching howl in the night.

Killua finally gave his brother “mercy” when he slit his throat with two razor sharp nails, a dark blackish blood pouring into the sea and into Killua’s soul.

And now, there he sat. On the same beach where he had tasted some of his first peace he now could not stomach the agony. Clutching Alluka’s face in his chest, he felt the tears finally start to fall. Each tiny tear reflecting his failure in the moonlight.

He had nothing left now. Nothi—

“Killua?”

Killua felt his body stiffen as he slowly turned his head, eyes brimmed with tears. Gon stood not even ten feet away, his own eyes large and filled with horror. It was not the scene Gon had expected when he went to meet his best friend and his best friend’s little sister. The reunion he expected was now warped with raven haired children soaked in blood and his white haired friend at the center of the red sea, drowning.

Gon took a step closer, reaching out a shaking hand as he approached them.

“Killua? Are you hurt?”

_Hurt? Was he hurt?_

Gon had never been one to find the right words at the right time. He always blurted out the first thing that came to mind, always said everything he was thinking and feeling with absolutely no regard for those around him.

_Was he hurt?_

Killua softly laid his sister down on the beach, rising to his feet, his silver hair falling across his tear stained face like a shadow.

“Where were you, Gon?”

“Huh?”

Something inside Killua had snapped. His adrenaline had not stopped pumping since the moment his sister took her last breath and neither had his fury. He had no one left to turn it on but the world. The living, breathing remaining piece of his existence.

Killua moving with the swiftness of a lightning bolt was nothing new. Gon had come to be unphased by his best friend’s speed and agility. He was always in awe of his power, but had come to recognize it as something in the norm. However, Killua’s hands planted tightly on his throat was a new sensation all together.

“Kill..ua” he could barely choke out his name, Killua’s hands an iron vice on his one source of obtaining air. Gon could feel his arms falling limply to his sides but he had no real urge to fight back, his feet slowly lifting off the ground as Killua raised his arms.

Killua stared back up at Gon, his only remaining reason for living. Where had he been when he needed him most? Killua had always been there, always tried to be. Even when Gon stung him with harsh words or rash decisions he was always by his side. He had loved him more than anything, loved him like family. What was he to Gon? Why didn’t he know he was needed? Why the hell did he always have to do everything and simultaneously lose everything? While Gon-

When he looked up into those golden brown eyes he expected to see fear, anger, desperation. He may have been satisfied with that. He needed to see a flurry of emotion, much like he was feeling right now. He needed someone to  _understand._  Though the golden irises held no fight in them, Killua only saw contentment and worry. What idiot would accept this?

_Yes, I am hurt._

Allowing his hands to loosen Killua allowed Gon to fall from his reach. Gon’s knees hit the white sand with a hard thud. Buckling underneath them, Gon fell forward onto his hands choking and gasping for air.

“It must be nice to be so calm” Killua felt the words in his mouth before he could stop them. “Because it means nothing to you.”

With those words, Killua spun around, walking at a fast pace toward the ocean he had arrived from. Stepping over the lifeless body of his brother and sister, he kept walking straight into the sparkling water.

Killua had always thought the concept of history repeating itself was bogus. Something old men told each other to make themselves feel better about carrying out their ancestor’s mistakes. He felt an odd attachment to those men now, feeling chill water rise up to his chest. He had separated from Gon once before when it was Gon’s words who had sliced a blade through their friendship. At that time, it had been no fault of Killua’s that Gon’s rage had overpowered the young Hunter. This time, it had been no fault of Gon’s that Killua had suffered the same fate. And yet, there was no way to save them.

Killua suddenly felt calm, submerging himself in the water. He had no intention of returning either. The only way to end the tragedy, the constant non-ending cycle of pain, broken promises and heart stabbing words was to remove a link from the chain. Fate may be a shackle, but it was nothing without its chain links.

_Ah, I am an idiot._

The muffled sound of Gon’s screams resonated in Killua’s ears as darkness began to overwhelm him. It was a cruel way to pick his last words, but they had been exactly as he felt. There was no way to take them back now.

It was the red reunion no one wanted. 


End file.
